Sometimes ...

I wish that my mind was crystal clear and that my writing muse was sparkling and witty and ready to flabber the gast of anyone reading ... that clever titles and puns just poured from my fingertips through the keyboard keys into this little white posting box ...

but alas and alack ... those moments are few and far between ...

and instead I fall back on summarized tidbits of my daily bread life.

I write so that I can remember me ... and not find myself at a loss when the nest finds itself empty. For a mother mothers ... and mothering takes time and energy and effort and focus and sometimes all of me. And a good mother lets go when it's time to let go ... and then what does she do?

Guess it's a combination of the remnants of a conversation online and Dave's musings last night about what he was going to do with himself post-retirement (2010, I believe ... but he's pushed that back a couple of times already ... so I can't be 100% sure) ... that has me pondering what I will do when I grow up? ... when all the children have grown?

Okay ... so I may be starting this a little early to some ... but bear in mind that I have 2 already flown ... 1 nursing his wings but independent nevertheless ... another testing her wings ... another who has flown back to another nest ... and then Stef who's only 8.5 years old going on 35.

I will not be the kind of mother that clips wings or keeps her little ones in the nest for too long. And that ... is a test of will in itself.

But what does a mother do when there's no more or less mothering to fill her time, her life ... mother others? adopt? relax?

Someday I'll figure it out ... and I promise I'll let you know.