But that's what New Year's resolutions are for? Right? ... (are you laughing along with me? I hope you are ...) Okay ... so here's hoping that 2010 is the year I manage to stick to my guns and visit this place regularly.
To tell you the truth, I almost succumbed to a habit of mine ... that of abandoning what had been started and starting anew somewhere else. And yes, I went so far as to create a new blog and a different blog site ... named it and all ... picked out a fancy theme ... and yes ... wrote a draft first posting. But the words weren't flowing and I felt like a traitor ...
So I came back ... like the cat (well not exactly like the cat ... because the cat came back the very next day ... and well there's no way in any stretch of the imagination that I can make manipulate nine months into becoming a day) ... and there's a certain satisfaction in knowing that this nine month silence does accurately depict me and my state of being. For I've been know to drop out or drop off the face of the earth for a spell or two ...
So here I am ... back again ... for however long I manage to keep this promise to myself.
So how does this happen? It's the same old story ... life gets the better of me ... and I put it off once for a day or two ... which stretches into a week .... then two months ... and then even the thought is buried so deep under the to-do lists of life that it takes some kind of earthquake or cleansing to remember ... or something like that.
I seem to come back to the written word whenever stress hits me in the face. This time it's Mel ... recently diagnosed as bi-polar (that makes two ... and one not diagnosed, yet BP for sure) and back in the psych ward for the second time.
It's funny how us humans adjust to just about anything ... for on one level I'm taking all of this in stride ... been there, done that ... but I know that just below the surface a seething cauldron of stress, anxiety and questions bubble and toil.
I can't help thinking about Maija's comment spoken when she overheard that Mel was in the hospital. She looked at her dad and said, "Mom's in the hospital?" ... and waited for his reply. She walked over to Ang and said, "Do you work today Dad?" (he works at the airport in logistics) ... when he said "yes" ... she looked at him really seriously and said, "well, then be careful, don't get hit by a plane."
Guess you had to be there.
So what else is new? Finally heard from Will after a six month silence (like mother, like son), Stefani was the lead in a feature this summer and a few indie shorts headed for festivals ... the last nine months have been crazy busy for our little movie star ... Nic made it through first semester at Guelph U ... and transfered into Arts & Sciences (she was in Arts) for semester Two ... Jonathan seems to have more good days than bad ... but still lives in his own world ... Dave's retiring this September ... and I'm ...
the glue that holds it all together?
I guess that's what makes me come back when things are tougher ... for a reality check ... or a means to prove to myself that things aren't all that bad ... that there is light at the end of the tunnel ...
We'll see ....
I'm glad to be back ...
