So the day actually dawned bright and sunny ... a slight fallish nip greeted me as I stepped out onto the back deck to sip at my morning's coffee. That was at 7:15 am. Just Peanut Butter and I surveying the latest leaf droppings upon the still surface of the pool ... the birds on the high wires to the right over the field flocking together, sitting there twittering excitedly about their upcoming trip down south ...
And as with most mornings, as I sip and look and listen ... I sat and listened to the rumblings and the grumblings of this aging body ... today I noted a slight ache behind my shoulder blades ... too much Pilates? or just a reminder that each day brings some new twinge or ache or reminder?
whatever ... that's not what I came here to vent about ... it's how the rest of this first half of the day so well planned last night has just unravelled ... into a twisted skein of yarn at my feet. And though I'm annoyed and upset and frusterated (so much more emphatic than frustrated) ... I can't help but laugh ...
... at the best laid plans of mice and men ...
so Kyla had her crisis at work caught between two bosses ... one a wimp the other a bitch ... and her own inability to keep her mouth shut and watch what she says and promises and divulges and ... her tendancy to say that she understands when she doesn't and move forward without thinking and then slip and fall and not remember what actually happened or how it happened ... and then ... throws her hands up in the air and screams HELP ... but unable to truly explain what she needs help for ... and oops she has to leave right now or she'll be late for work #1 ...
... that brought the clock to about 8:30 am ...
did I tell you that I had planned my morning to ensure that I finished the one-page summary documents of the two independent feasibility studies done for the organization I work for ... to send to CEO for commentary and changes and edits prior to Monday morning ... so that he could then look good Monday afternoon sending out all this written effort backing up his miraculous capacity improvement plan and prevent his impeachment? ... oh well, that's another story ... for another time I'm sure ...
and then Jonathan prepares to leave the house for a trial day as a store merchandiser ... a job to help him feel useful and capable and able again ... and he needed some extra tending, approbation and other "tion" ending words ...
and then the clock neared 9:00 am and the two sleeping beauties awoke ... Dave and Stef ... one groggy and subdued and other bouncing about as if on a giant spring ... breakfast, details, hugs, stories and tellings and plans and sync-ing of watches and schedules ...
and then the phone rang ... now 9:15 am and Maija has the chicken pox and is restless and won't stop talking about Stefani ... so can Maija accompany Ginga and Stefani and along with her mommy come for the ride downtown for Stefani's audition at 3:00 PM ...
9:30 am ... and a couple of words get written on summary report #1 ... as I wonder if he (CEO) is going to turn around and expect the full-fledged documents to be ready in edited form on Monday ... and is that even something I can possibly achieve ... oh my, oh me ... maybe it's time for another walk around the back yard with Peanut Butter ...
but before that can happen ... 9:41 am ... the phone rings and it's sister-in-law #1, Carol and she needs a break from all the post-funeral, splitting up the household drama and exploding minefields and pitholes of power struggles between brother #1, Mike and sisters #2 and #3 ...
so I listen and make soothing noises ... as she tells me tales of sister #2 suing her #1 son ... and sister #2 "stealing" bed room sets and food processors and brother #1 not wanting to share the details of the will ... and he's the executor ... and she just wants to jump off a bridge ... or can she come over?
10:41 am ... sorry ... maybe tomorrow ... okay ... now Dave leaves to promote and sell cars and such (side-line jobs beyond fighting fires and saving lives) ... and Stefani is chatting with Jessica her friend on the front porch looking for a way to make the morning go away so that the afternoon will be here and she can do what she loves ...
10:45 am ... the phone rings and it's Jonathan ... mom I don't know if I can do this ... yes you can ... why don't you talk to your supervisor ... and the fear builds up within me as I wonder, are we headed there again?
11:00 ... back to the words on the screen and a quick run downstairs to throw laundry in and take laundry out ... fold, put away ... clean the kitchen, the living room, tidy up beds and bathrooms and floors ...
noon ... an apple snatched from the bowl ... okay let's try again and get some work-work done ...
sit myself down, look at the screen, the words before me ... telephone again ... this time it's sister-in-law #3, Deborah ... poor me, I miss my mom so ... my siblings are all idiots ... I hate them all, don't you hate them all, how can you not hate them all ... did I tell you my daughter called the cops on me last night ... I think she's taking drugs ... but I'm not sure ... what would you think if you found syringes under her bed ... she says she just wanted to try drawing blood to find out whether she could do it or not ... it could be that, couldn't it?
at this point I'm ready to scream ...!!
It's 12:45 ... the time is ticking ... and now I'm here ... letting the air of the scream, out of the unravelled plans ... somewhere other than my head. Maybe I'll get an hour of work done before Maija and Melanie arrive ... and then Maija, Melanie, Stefani and I head downtown ... and hopefully I'll be able to give them my full attention and not just think about that page, that screen that at 5 PM upon my return will still only have 197 written words ...
(oh and now it's about 1:27 pm ... Jonathan came home and is confused, Kyla called for more explanations and confirmations and affirmations ... and Dave just walked in the door ... sheesh ... just another day at the zoo)
tick tock ... and the mouse ran up the clock ...
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