Sticktuitiveness

... this is a no-brainer ...

... saw this word somewhere ... some time ago ...

... wanted to remind myself that success, of any kind, is defined in large measure by the amount of sticktuitiveness applied ...

Remember? ...

(written Feb 9/09)

... when weekends were something to look forward to?

A stray (somewhat unoriginal) thought that crossed my mind a few weeks back ... and then crossed my mind again yesterday as I stood in line for six hours to assist Stefani in pursuing her dream ... a 45 second karaoke / singing audition.

A few of us mothers had a few giggles at ourselves while whiling the hours away yesterday ... "are we nuts?" figured quite prominently ... as well as the glances back to our respective sons and daughters who never complained, diligently practiced their songs and waited patiently for their 45 second shot in the dark.

Sometimes I think this is all a waste of precious time ... I'd be lying if I said otherwise ... but then I ask myself - who am I to determine what is a waste of time or not? Whether she ever becomes the star she dreams of being ... watching Stefani's determination and tenacity in following her heart's desire ... sometimes actually puts my own to shame.

I don't think I ever gave it my all in that way ... I don't think I ever believed in myself in that way ... I don't think I ever worked that hard to attain a goal ...

We saw lots of kids ... lots of parents ... lots of brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles yesterday. Not all had that determined look in their eyes ... but those who did, those like Stefani ... stood out and shone like beacons. And the parents of these children were drawn together as though pulled in with a magnetic field. Instant rapport, understanding, camaraderie ... we cheered on each other's children.

Funny I would have thought we'd be the "stage moms" ... but what I saw yesterday is that the "stage moms and dads" were more often than not the parents of the children who were complaining and wanted to leave, who weren't prepared and to be honest, couldn't sing. Those of us escorting the "driven" (for lack of a better word) all shared this laid-back, no pressure attitude ... faces mildly confused ... as we weren't the ones "driving the train" ... we were simply facilitating, assisting, chaperoning, providing transportation ... the desire, the reason we were there was the sheer force of will and determination of our children!

Six hours waiting in line gives you an awful lot of time to think ... and think I did yesterday. I thought about what else I could be accomplishing in six hours ... I thought about whether this was the best use of all our time ... I thought about whether this was a good thing for Stefani - all this auditioning and practicing and chasing a very elusive dream shared by many ... I thought about my feeble attempts at chasing dreams as compared to Stefani ... I thought about what part of my parenting may have molded such a determined daughter ...

I mean what else do you now that your weekends are no longer what they used to be?

Conspiracy theories ...

Okay so it has to be a dastardly conspiracy that has kept me away from here ... especially with all the resolutions and promises I'd made to myself about finding at least one hour out of every day to come here and unburden a handful of words or two ... read and comment on ethereals and reals and other words and worlds! It couldn't be me ... nah, perish that thought!

So what's been keeping me from this restful garden? ... the flu ... an ear-ache ... the lull after the storm ... cold weather which had me often choosing the comfy warmth of my bed (and a book) rather than my office ... work ...

Same old reasons ... but the excuses are wearing thin ... even to me. So hopefully as I stand here and shout "Here I am ... finally!" ... I really am here ... finally!

Time will tell, I'm sure ... tattle telling time ...

Record temperature drops ...

They say it's been over a decade since Toronto has seen (or should I say "felt"?) cold weather like this ... believe me when I say this is "arctic cold" ... the kind of cold that hurts your throat and slams your nostrils shut when you take your first step out of the protected warmth of your house ... the kind of cold that makes the air still and thick as if it's about to freeze and become something brittle and tangible ... the kind of cold that makes chimney smoke waft straight into the frigid air. Bitter cold ... the kind that bites at your skin ... and burns with its icy flames.

The furnace is just barely keeping up ... and we're all wearing extra layers ... socks, sweat shirts (heck I've even got a scarf around my neck ... but to be honest, more for comfort than warmth).

I'm just slowly getting over an ear infection ... it's still tender and aches off and on ... but the antibiotics are doing the trick, I hope.

Life has slowed down to a manageable pace ... but I think we're all trying to catch our respective breaths ... and adjusting to this "slower" version of life before us.

... new beginnings ...

New years are like presents just unwrapped ... unspoiled, untarnished and chock full of promise. The inner child in me revels in the presence of shiny and new ... and stands back somewhat in awe of the new beginning ... and somewhat hesitant to make a move that might mar the unmarked surface.

I didn't make any New Year's Resolutions this year ... simply vowed to myself to take better care of me ... and to live each day to its fullest ... because by sheer mathematical formula ... my days are numbered.

My wish is to be happy more days than not ... to laugh more than frown ... to sigh deeply with pleasure and serenity more than to groan with displeasure ... to embrace opportunity and delight more than to justify fear.

And you?

Fairytale Wedding with a Mad Hatter Twist

They say a picture paints a thousand words ... well, here's a couple of thousands worth.