Remember? ...

(written Feb 9/09)

... when weekends were something to look forward to?

A stray (somewhat unoriginal) thought that crossed my mind a few weeks back ... and then crossed my mind again yesterday as I stood in line for six hours to assist Stefani in pursuing her dream ... a 45 second karaoke / singing audition.

A few of us mothers had a few giggles at ourselves while whiling the hours away yesterday ... "are we nuts?" figured quite prominently ... as well as the glances back to our respective sons and daughters who never complained, diligently practiced their songs and waited patiently for their 45 second shot in the dark.

Sometimes I think this is all a waste of precious time ... I'd be lying if I said otherwise ... but then I ask myself - who am I to determine what is a waste of time or not? Whether she ever becomes the star she dreams of being ... watching Stefani's determination and tenacity in following her heart's desire ... sometimes actually puts my own to shame.

I don't think I ever gave it my all in that way ... I don't think I ever believed in myself in that way ... I don't think I ever worked that hard to attain a goal ...

We saw lots of kids ... lots of parents ... lots of brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles yesterday. Not all had that determined look in their eyes ... but those who did, those like Stefani ... stood out and shone like beacons. And the parents of these children were drawn together as though pulled in with a magnetic field. Instant rapport, understanding, camaraderie ... we cheered on each other's children.

Funny I would have thought we'd be the "stage moms" ... but what I saw yesterday is that the "stage moms and dads" were more often than not the parents of the children who were complaining and wanted to leave, who weren't prepared and to be honest, couldn't sing. Those of us escorting the "driven" (for lack of a better word) all shared this laid-back, no pressure attitude ... faces mildly confused ... as we weren't the ones "driving the train" ... we were simply facilitating, assisting, chaperoning, providing transportation ... the desire, the reason we were there was the sheer force of will and determination of our children!

Six hours waiting in line gives you an awful lot of time to think ... and think I did yesterday. I thought about what else I could be accomplishing in six hours ... I thought about whether this was the best use of all our time ... I thought about whether this was a good thing for Stefani - all this auditioning and practicing and chasing a very elusive dream shared by many ... I thought about my feeble attempts at chasing dreams as compared to Stefani ... I thought about what part of my parenting may have molded such a determined daughter ...

I mean what else do you now that your weekends are no longer what they used to be?