Human Bee-ings

Sunday evening :Everything was so loud today … Tim’s booming voice … girls squealing amidst splashes in the pool … the television … the iPod system churning music into the backyard … voices, dog, birds …
It’s like everything was amplified … and now that all has stilled … my head and ears are still buzzing … and trying to adjust to the quiet …
Or is that just a blood pressure surge …
Monday morning:So four hours of sleep later … (girls wanted a “girls night” so we stayed up until the wee hours watching movies … Penelope – absolutely LOVED that movie – quite impressed with the lead – James McElvoy who reminds me of a young Johnny Depp… and No Reservations – nothing special) I’m up ready to face another day. The sky is blue, the humidity is building … the red cardinal in the front yard is sitting dejected amidst the branches of the old pine (I forgot to fill the bird feeder again). Love this early morning coffee … just me and Peanut Butter. These moments are my internal stability ball … reflection .. quiet planning of the day … internal conversations … sometimes I even talk to myself out loud … which usually brings the dog to my side, looking up at me wondering what’s wrong …
… not so today … a sip of coffee and the day takes shape in my mind’s eye … with built in buffers naturally … with this many people in my immediate circle and all the outside forces, I’ve learnt to be adaptable.
There’s something about ritual however that soothes the soul … for we are creatures of habit at best. Ritual, routine … is communion with self. Those stilling moments that acknowledge our choice, our responsibility to ourselves and to things outside of our circle of gravity … peace amidst the chaos.
I love these stolen moments … though the “stealing” is a misnomer as these minutes are carved out of most days … found and made possible without much effort anymore. But there was a time when finding time was near impossible, or so I thought … now they flow naturally within the stream of a day … offering me different perspectives as they rarely occur at the same time two days in a row. These early morning breaths are the best … the air is still fresh … and I imagine that the birds and squirrels have just awakened, the bees have buzzed out of the hives with sleep still wrinkling their wings … it’s a god-like feeling. The grass is greener, dew drops more reflective … as my eyes spot the webs across the back fence near the pink “Stefani’s Garden” sign …
… and then the golden buzz is shattered by the first loud squeals of civilization … a lawn mower buzzes a few streets away, a garbage truck rumbles on a side street … children giggle as they ride down the street on their bikes … and before these sounds are fully digested, there are more … and the world becomes filled with the buzzing of our human hive …Time to get to work …